Learning to share

Ok. I'll admit it: Teaching elementary school isn't all that bad.

Now, that's not to say that a room full of first graders doesn't strike fear into my heart anymore. When they stream into my classroom and begin touching every new object in sight, it still overwhelms me a bit; however, their exuberance and easy laughter is absolutely contagious. It's completely foreign to me how I can rather severely discipline my fifth grade class (who might be my personal nightmare), and five minutes later they're laughing and enjoying testing each other on body parts while calling me over to show off how well they're doing. Their recovery time is astonishing.

Moreover, they're extremely generous. Smiles, hugs, stickers, pictures, food. They'll give them all away. If one of my students bought food during lunch they will inevitably share it with me and their classmates. I mean, today four of my fifth graders gave me candy, a seventh grader gave me shrimp, and a third grader gave me a pear. Like many Haitians I've seen, they will take whatever they have and share it with the five people around them -- without thinking otherwise! I've not yet heard a kid ask another for something (like food) and received, "No!" for an answer. Really? Does this happen in the States too?

My Ecuadorian friend, Mika, expressed that one difficult aspect of adapting to life in the States was their independence. It's something we value, right? If we can have our own car, job, house, and dog we've reached the height of success. We're proud that we did it on our own and only used people if we needed something from them. And so we sit back in our houses, turn on the tv, and enjoy being independent of those around us.

Is that it? Is that all we have to live for?

Now, I'll be honest: I'm hugely independent. It's difficult for me to rely on others for help. Call it pride (for that's what it is really), but there's something about showing my weaknesses that scares me. My tendency leans towards serving others while maintaining a steel wall around my own life. Why bother them with my own struggles if I'm supposed to be helping them, right? Wouldn't my ministry be compromised if people saw that I struggled too?

Due to hateful talk of hypocrisy in the church, many Christians have retreated into themselves. They display a beautiful, composed exterior as they rot away on the inside from trapping all their addictions and sins. Instead of sharing, confessing, and praying for healing together, they try to handle it on their own.

Nowhere in the Bible does the Lord support this habit. The early church was built through community. Even in the days of Abraham, Issac, and Jacob people lived in massive family groups that supported each other. When did we decide that independence was a better way to live?

When did we decide that independence from God produced happier, healthier, and wiser people?

I am learning here that community is essential. There's no way I'd survive here in Shell without others. Hearing their stories of struggles, hurts, breakthroughs, and healing strengthens me and reminds me that I'm not alone in this battle. Maria, my house mom, cries at least once a week. Actually, many of the women I've met here in Shell cry. . .often. Their hearts break for others and themselves and they're not afraid to show their emotions. They're not afraid to call out to God for help. They're not afraid to share their short-comings and their walk towards redemption.

And what's produced is renewed strength, peace, understanding, wisdom, and eventually joy.

Why are we forsaking this?

Praise be to God that He loves me so intently that He won't let me retreat into independence. Instead He pursues me fiercely through his Word (read Jeremiah 31) and through situations that force me to rely on him -- particularly those dealing with language, conflict, and cultural differences.

As I watch my students interact with me and their peers, the Lord gently reminds me to learn from them. To learn to share with Him and with others.

I guess working with little kids has some benefits. . . other than free food. :-)

Grace and love to you all,

Kristin